"Oh poor me, I am poor, and my father's a drunkard, and I live in a four story house because I am poor, my boyfriend ran off with my sister, and my favorite proud cousin insulted me.” complained Emma as she improperly ran through the forest.
Emma cried in pain ,“@#&%, I sprained my knee!” At that moment, who should appear from behind a tree other than that dapper fellow Mr. Darilliby.
“Oh look, it's a peasant. Will you marry me? I can't live without you.”
“No! You're too rich.” was Emma's reply.
“Then I'll have to go berserk and hack you with my saber.”
After the threat from Darilliby, Emma closed her eyes in terror, only to hear another drawn sword clashing against the assailant. CLANG CLANG CLANG Emma opened her eyes only to see, to her astonishment, that Farmer Joe also appeared out of nowhere and had sprung into battle in order to save her.
Over the loud din of battle, farmer Joe proposed to Emma. Before she could answer him, cousin Adolf whisked her into his arms and ran away. Then they promptly got married.
Regarding the whole matter, the random evil lady said. “It was a dreadful scandal.” but no one cared because these stories always end after a marriage.
THE END
Spencer, that's brilliant! I'll never be able to read a Jane Austen book without laughing again!
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